100 Day Challenge — Days One and Two
I learned about this web site, Medium.com just yesterday. Within moments I discovered a blog by Matthew Trinetti with a title that grabbed me and gave me chills, like a premonition of something very important. The title? “There are 100 days left in 2014, What will you do with them?” I read this and knew this was something that I NEEDED to do for myself.
A few years ago, I suddenly turned around and discovered myself living alone for the very first time in MY ENTIRE LIFE! Since I am 50 something that is over half of a century. I went from being a child to being a 17 year old bride, then mother, then single parent with 3 kids, then 4 to take care of. A second marriage, more kids to take care of, pets, house, business, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera…..then POOF! Everything I had known up to that point was gone. No husband or kids to care for, no job, no house not even a car for a few years. Nothing.
I started over completely. Learning who I am, who I have become while I was so busy taking care of the wants and needs of everyone around me. What I learned is that I had no clear identity or sense of self any longer. My hopes and dreams had gotten lost long ago. I helped my first husband find his, I even tutored him in math as a 17 year old bride just so he could make it through his tech school training for the Air Force. I continued to help him with his homework as he pursued his dreams and I gave up mine. But that is another story.
Now this….this is for ME. I came across this challenge with not 100 days left in 2014, but a few less, that doesn’t matter, it is actually a very good thing. I am planning such a grand adventure over the next few months that this timing will cover me from Sunny Southern California to Georgia and back again.
Dreams can be rediscovered, new pathways found and new adventures embarked upon. My 100 Day Challenge to myself is to find or do something creative, whether it be an art project, a photography session or even just taking some time to tap into my creativity and to blog about each day’s adventure.
I began the challenge on September 26, 2014 but am only just now sitting down to record my challenge activities. Yes, there was more than one thing! I felt inspired. From a very young age I loved color and everything art related. I also was an avid reader and even wrote a bit for my high school newspaper. My dreams covered everything from becoming a painter, a writer, a scientist and a computer programmer (I am a nerdette). Over the past few years as I have learned all over again about taking care of just me, I have begun gardening. I have always had a brown thumb so this is indeed a challenge since I live in the very harsh California desert. Upwards of 110 degrees Fahrenheit during the summer days and freezing during winter nights.
So for my first day of my challenge I created through my gardening. I have been procrastinating in putting together a desert planter of some succulents and small cactus plants. This isn’t quite as easy as it sounds but with the careful use of my trusty needle nosed pliers I kept myself from turning into a porcupine.
The feeling of accomplishment and JOY to be doing something that was for me and only me was such a rush! I’m not used to doing things that are for just me. It was always for someone else and everything that I did for myself made me feel guilty, like somehow I was less deserving than everyone else. Now is my time and boy does it feel good.
When I finished the succulent planter I was sorely tempted to keep going to dive into the next planting project. This is a trap that my mind tries to toss my body into. As someone that has been suffering from fibromyalgia for 14 plus years, I have a tendency to overdo things. Some of the things that are taken for granted by most people can seem like insurmountable obstacles to me. Grocery trips, simple household tasks such as vacuuming or laundry or even simple errands can lead to flare ups and a couple of days in bed.
Learning to accept myself as I am with no apologies is another thing I am working on. I will no longer apologize for my body’s failings.
My worktable is scattered with various empty pots, vases and gardening tools. My first inclination was to pick up a couple of the empty containers and to repot some of my other house plants but I gave myself permission to be human and try that new thing called SLEEP. When you have fibromyalgia sleep can be very elusive and often not in the least restorative.
After about 5 hours of sleep I found myself outside in my rose garden gathering up fragrant blooms and grinning like a fool. My joy was overflowing.
Here is the result of the first 2 days of my 100 day challenge, 2 small steps taken with Joy and Gratitude for this next chapter of my life.
What are you going to do with your next 100 days? See you tomorrow my friends!
Posted on September 27, 2014, in 100 Day Challenge, Life, Who I Am and tagged Blog 101, chronic pain, garden, health, Joy, life after 50, life journey, living alone, single, women. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.