Category Archives: Who I Am
I learned about this web site, Medium.com just yesterday. Within moments I discovered a blog by Matthew Trinetti with a title that grabbed me and gave me chills, like a premonition of something very important. The title? “There are 100 days left in 2014, What will you do with them?” I read this and knew this was something that I NEEDED to do for myself.
A few years ago, I suddenly turned around and discovered myself living alone for the very first time in MY ENTIRE LIFE! Since I am 50 something that is over half of a century. I went from being a child to being a 17 year old bride, then mother, then single parent with 3 kids, then 4 to take care of. A second marriage, more kids to take care of, pets, house, business, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera…..then POOF! Everything I had known up to that point was gone. No husband or kids to care for, no job, no house not even a car for a few years. Nothing.
I started over completely. Learning who I am, who I have become while I was so busy taking care of the wants and needs of everyone around me. What I learned is that I had no clear identity or sense of self any longer. My hopes and dreams had gotten lost long ago. I helped my first husband find his, I even tutored him in math as a 17 year old bride just so he could make it through his tech school training for the Air Force. I continued to help him with his homework as he pursued his dreams and I gave up mine. But that is another story.
Now this….this is for ME. I came across this challenge with not 100 days left in 2014, but a few less, that doesn’t matter, it is actually a very good thing. I am planning such a grand adventure over the next few months that this timing will cover me from Sunny Southern California to Georgia and back again.
Dreams can be rediscovered, new pathways found and new adventures embarked upon. My 100 Day Challenge to myself is to find or do something creative, whether it be an art project, a photography session or even just taking some time to tap into my creativity and to blog about each day’s adventure.
I began the challenge on September 26, 2014 but am only just now sitting down to record my challenge activities. Yes, there was more than one thing! I felt inspired. From a very young age I loved color and everything art related. I also was an avid reader and even wrote a bit for my high school newspaper. My dreams covered everything from becoming a painter, a writer, a scientist and a computer programmer (I am a nerdette). Over the past few years as I have learned all over again about taking care of just me, I have begun gardening. I have always had a brown thumb so this is indeed a challenge since I live in the very harsh California desert. Upwards of 110 degrees Fahrenheit during the summer days and freezing during winter nights.
So for my first day of my challenge I created through my gardening. I have been procrastinating in putting together a desert planter of some succulents and small cactus plants. This isn’t quite as easy as it sounds but with the careful use of my trusty needle nosed pliers I kept myself from turning into a porcupine.
The feeling of accomplishment and JOY to be doing something that was for me and only me was such a rush! I’m not used to doing things that are for just me. It was always for someone else and everything that I did for myself made me feel guilty, like somehow I was less deserving than everyone else. Now is my time and boy does it feel good.
When I finished the succulent planter I was sorely tempted to keep going to dive into the next planting project. This is a trap that my mind tries to toss my body into. As someone that has been suffering from fibromyalgia for 14 plus years, I have a tendency to overdo things. Some of the things that are taken for granted by most people can seem like insurmountable obstacles to me. Grocery trips, simple household tasks such as vacuuming or laundry or even simple errands can lead to flare ups and a couple of days in bed.
Learning to accept myself as I am with no apologies is another thing I am working on. I will no longer apologize for my body’s failings.
My worktable is scattered with various empty pots, vases and gardening tools. My first inclination was to pick up a couple of the empty containers and to repot some of my other house plants but I gave myself permission to be human and try that new thing called SLEEP. When you have fibromyalgia sleep can be very elusive and often not in the least restorative.
After about 5 hours of sleep I found myself outside in my rose garden gathering up fragrant blooms and grinning like a fool. My joy was overflowing.
Here is the result of the first 2 days of my 100 day challenge, 2 small steps taken with Joy and Gratitude for this next chapter of my life.
What are you going to do with your next 100 days? See you tomorrow my friends!
The Sisterhood of the World of Bloggers Award
Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award
I would like to thank Josefine for nominating me for the sisterhood of the world bloggers award.
1. Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site.
2. Put the award logo on your blog.
3. Answer the ten questions they have set you.
4. Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer.
5. Nominate ten people.
My answers to Josefine’s questions:
1. Your house is burning, you have 60 seconds to get out of the house before it collapses. What do you grab and take with you?
Oh this is an easy one! I would grab Frosty my beloved dog, because nothing is as precious as a life. If I was able to scoop up my laptop at the same time I would grab that too so I could communicate with my peeps and describe the drama of the whole thing.
2. What is your favorite place in this universe? Why?
I pondered this question for a bit because I have been to so many places throughout my life but the one place that has always resonated deep inside me is the Valley of the Temples on the island of Oahu in Hawaii. I lived in Hawaii for awhile in the late 70’s early 80’s time period and it never failed to bring a deep feeling of peace and joy to me.
3. If you could give one piece of advice to the human race, what would it be?
Love each other. Release the hate you hang on to and let yourself love.
4. Would you want to live forever, given the chance? Why?
No, I believe there is something bigger and better after this life. This life is all one big lesson. Learn the lesson and you will find joy and happiness in the next life.
5. What is your favorite resource for personal development? Why?
This one kind of made me giggle but it is actually true……O magazine!!! Putting aside the fashion and material things inside, Oprah has many inspirational and motivational tips with everything from meditation and yoga to herbal remedies and health tips. It was actually Oprah’s old TV show (in 1985) that gave me the courage to step out of my abusive marriage and start life over. I will forever be grateful to her for that.
6. If you could eradicate one ‘problem’ of/from the human race, what would it be and why?
Intolerance and Hate. Putting aside the physical issues resulting from the terrible things we have done to our planet that have resulted in pollution and destruction of natural resources, I think that the anger and hatred in this world will lead to its ultimate destruction. It saddens me to see the violence and destruction that comes with all this hatred.
7. Have you told the 5 most important people in your life that you love them today? If your answer is no, you better go do it now!
No I haven’t, but now that you mention it………….(toddles off to locate her missing cell phone)
8. What is something that you have done, that required the most courage (yet) in your life?
Moved from California to Las Vegas to restart my life with only the money in my pocket and faith. It was a very difficult time in my life and it required a lot of courage and a whole lot of Creative Visualization. (look it up, you will be glad you did)
9. Who are you?
I am flawed but I am honest and I am true to myself. I don’t believe that lies get you anywhere and take care to live my life so that when I close my eyes each night I will feel no shame for any actions I have taken each day. That is all you really have when it is said and done, the possessions mean nothing because you won’t be taking them with you to your next life. You have only YOU.
10. What is the craziest thing you have ever done?
Oh jeez…..I plead the 5th. I choose to not answer this question on the grounds that it may incriminate me…(and embarrass my children)
Ok so now that I have confessed to my deep dark secrets, it’s time for my nominations and questions so that other people can do the same!
Here are MY questions for my nominations, most aren’t too deep but they are fun and I believe that every one needs some fun and laughter in their lives. Muah ha ha ha ha. Since I am new to blogging it may take me a bit to find others to nominate, but I will post them as I find ’em. 😀
1. Dogs or Cats? Or does a more exotic pet appeal to you?
2. What is your favorite (we aren’t counting calories here) dessert? Describe the ideal setting for you to enjoy it.
3. You are the leading lady in a new movie, who would be your first choice for leading man? Second choice?
4. What is your favorite type of romantic fiction, a novel, television or a movie?
5. Do you still believe in love and have you found it?
6. What is your favorite color and where in your life do you use it the most?
7. How often do you cook? Really, no cheating here, do you cook, share the cooking, or are you a fast food junkie?
8. Where would you go on your dream vacation and who would go with you? (If you have kids pretend the dream vacation either comes with a Nanny to stay at home with them or bring them with you, it is YOUR dream)
9. What makes you happiest?
10. Do you tweet? (I have twitter but I can never say anything short enough to put on there!)
Here are the links to my nominations. Have fun!
Layered Pages http://about.me/layeredpages
Sarah Kennedy http://sarahkennedybooks.com/
Redmon Woods http://redmonwoods.com/
The Billy Tea https://wordpress.com/read/blog/id/42615304/
Shamelessly Shannon https://wordpress.com/read/blog/id/66602431/
Brittany Likes Nachos https://wordpress.com/read/blog/id/71693233/
The Green Pants https://wordpress.com/read/blog/id/73431409/
A Journey of Acceptance with a Chronic Disease https://wordpress.com/read/blog/id/62268022/